Babies, Weddings, and Funerals

Seems that lots of monumental events have been happening in the lives of those around me here in Korea lately.

Two close friends of mine have recently gotten engaged and are getting married in just two short months. They came to Korea around the same time I did and met one another here, so I have had the opportunity to witness their relationship from the very beginning, and it's really special. Another two friends of mine-- a really great couple from Nigeria-- are expecting their first baby soon. And, in addition to experiencing the excitement involved in planning for bachelorette excursions and baby showers with my foreign friends, I've recently also had the opportunity to experience both the joy of a wedding and the sadness of a funeral in the lives of two of my Korean coworkers.

I've gotten a lot of questions about these last two events in particular, and it might disappoint some of you to hear me report that there is not much of a difference between a Korean wedding and an American one. Nor is there much of a difference between a Korean funeral and an American one. Undoubtedly this is largely due to the recent westernization of the Korean hemisphere, but I also think that, more significantly and on a more fundamental level, weddings and funerals the world over have certain qualities about them that are simply universal.

For instance, western countries and other "modernized" nations like Korea may tend to emphasize a movie-like version of romantic love in marriage, while other peoples do not believe that to be the institution's main purpose, but I have never heard of a culture in which a wedding does not represent on some level the satisfaction of a human longing for relationship and connectivity. Whether this is framed on the individual level, or on a familial or even communal level, it is still something that rings true throughout every society and culture. Likewise, a funeral-- whether it is done by viewing the body as in the US, cremating it as in India, or by bowing respectfully before a photo of the deceased (no dead bodies involved) as in Korea-- is always a way for the living to process death. Death is a part of all our lives, and it is a universally difficult, complex, and transcendent experience that needs navigating.

I imagine that no matter where in the world I travel, weddings and funerals will never be so foreign as to fail to reflect these two aspects of human need and experience. And all the rest is mere packaging and fluff. It may be beautiful packaging and the differences may be exciting to learn about-- certainly a joy to embrace and experience. But for me, the most beautiful experience of all, and the one worth traveling the world over to have, is to stand in a crowd and feel the same joy and mourning reflected across every kind of linguistic and cultural boundary that should to divide us, and to know that it is our shared identity as images of our Creator that connects our hearts.