Art is therapeutic

This past weekend a friend of mine had a going away party for one of the other English teachers who goes to our church. She wanted to spruce up her place for the gathering and decided to make some paintings for her walls. I was a little wary when she asked me to help-- it sounded like fun, but I'm not exactly Picaso. However, she told me she was going for more of an abstract/modern art feel and didn't really have much art experience either, so I figured why not give it a shot?

And I am so glad that I did. Painting with the other girls that night awoke a little part of myself that I had forgotten ever existed. Before last week, I had not really done any type of painting or drawing since I was in middle school, but prior to that I created art all the time. I would sit at the kitchen table or cross-legged in my bedroom floor and paint watercolor portraits for hours, stopping only after I had run out of space to let them all dry. Or sometimes I would take a sketchbook and charcoal pencils out in the backyard or to the park to draw the things that I saw. I even had my own pottery wheel and entered into art contests at school. I absolutely loved it all.

But somehow, over the years I managed to forget this. Not only did I forget the joy that I derived from art, but I actually completely forgot that I had ever even done any of those things. Looking back now, though, I realize that I stopped doing art around the same time that I stopped writing creatively. I am not sure at what exact moment it all changed, but I do know that at some point relatively early on in my life, I decided that because I am not a brilliant artist or some great prolific writer, it was no longer worthwhile for me to do those things. Somewhere along the way, I had decided that doing something simply because I loved it was no longer enough. And I let the fear of "not being good enough" (by what standard, I'm not sure?) keep me from doing things that had always made me happy.

In that one evening, however, I was able to experience once again just the pure joy that the simple act of painting can bring. The time with friends being creative together provided me with a much needed a release; there is just something about doing art that is so very therapeutic. As I've mentioned before, I love to write because it's a creative outlet that helps me to really process and make sense of my thoughts, but creating visual art allows me to do something that writing does not and cannot; it allows me to create without requiring that I make sense of anything. For me, it is simply about feeling life and experiencing reality, and being able to reflect those feelings and experiences onto something outside of myself, without reason or words.

And the best part is, it is not the end result that really matters, but it is instead the process of creating that is important. It is this process that awakens the human capacity for creation ingrained deep within us, and it is this process that is so basic to our nature as image-bearers of a Creator-God. For this reason, it is impossible to "fail" or to "not be good enough" when creating art. In visual media we are completely free to express the things that we think and feel and see in the world around us-- free to express those things that we may not feel safe to put into words or that we may not even be able to make sense of ourselves.

It had been a very long time since I had experienced that kind of freedom. And while I realize that my explanation of all of this may sound deep and complex, in reality the experience of making art is so simple and joyful--and therein lies it's true beauty.

After that night, I got online to do some research on art therapy. I was curious to find out the different ways that people use art as treatment. Turns out the uses range from providing stress relief, to treating mental illness, to coping with chronic and other serious illnesses, to simple self-discovery. Art therapy can be used by virtually anyone for nearly any reason-- it is at once universal and deeply personal. For example, I came across a video on one art therapy blog about an innovative program in Saudi Arabia that uses art therapy to help rehabilitate former terrorists.



Creating (for) peace and hope. Absolutely love it.

Here in Korea, art therapy is a relatively new but rapidly growing field, particularly in demand as treatment for mental illness. While a unified national certification system has yet to be established, as of December 2008 there were 10 graduate-level schools, 5 undergraduate schools, 14 continuing education programs, and 6 associations dedicated to art therapy education in South Korea. This growth and interest in art as therapy can perhaps be explained in part by a particular cultural need among Koreans. In one news article I came across, an art therapist from a hospital in Seoul "pointed out that members of Korean society influenced by Confucianism were not accustomed to expressing their feelings, but staying quiet only led to isolation. She added: 'Opening up is important for a healthy mind, and art therapy is one way to achieve this.'"

I can relate. While I didn't grow up in a culture that stifles the expression of one's feelings in the same way (though arguably my environment might have done so in different ways), it has never been the easiest thing for me to express my true feelings-- except with those who are closest to me and with whom I have formed a strong bond of trust over time. And, being that I am now so far from those people that I trust the most, it is difficult for me to not close up and stay quiet about both my struggles and my joys with new people that I meet here. And perhaps that is why I felt such a release in painting the other night-- I was finally letting myself open up.

So, all that to say, I definitely think that art is something I need more of in my life. And perhaps it's something that the rest of the world could use a little more of, too.

A Day of Birthday Fun in Apgujeong

I usually try to refrain on my blog from writing the typical "so today I did this and went here and it was fun" kind of posts, but yesterday was my first and perhaps only birthday celebrated in Korea, so I figure I'll probably want to remember the day. So, if you're reading, you're going to have to bear with me on this one.

First, a little bit about birthdays in Korea. While things are changing a bit for the younger generations of Koreans, in general Korean culture is much less individualistic than US culture, and this is reflected in the varying ways that the two countries treat birthdays. Generally, birthdays in Korea are not celebrated by throwing big parties, as in the US and some other western countries. It is far more common to celebrate with an intimate gathering of family and friends for dinner and cake (much more my speed..). In talking with my Korean friends, my impression is that birthdays are no less important in Korea than the States, but that they are to be celebrated with and by those people who truly care about you most-- rather than serving as an excuse to gather together everyone you know in celebration of your existence.

This cultural difference is also reflected in the way that age is determined in each country. In Korea, age is determined based on the year that you were born, rather than on your actual date of birth. For example, I was born September 19th, 1987-- meaning that according to the Western measurement of age, I turned 22 years old yesterday. But, in Korea, I, along with everyone else born during 1987, actually became 23 years old on January 1, 2009. Confused? In Korea, the first year that you are alive counts as year number 1; so, from September 19th-December 31st 1987 I was considered to be 1 year old, but starting at the beginning of 1988 I was considered to be two years old. In 1989, I was three, in 1990, four, and so on and so forth...

It actually took me a while to figure all of this out-- mainly because I kept getting a little bit of a different answer from different people I asked about the issue. In fact, I am still a little confused, because I think that the lunar calendar plays into all of this in some way, but I am not exactly sure how. But either way, age in Korea is determined by birth year (emphasis on the collective) rather than by day of birth (emphasis on the individual) which is kind of cool... apart from the fact that it makes me feel old every time I tell someone my age. :)

It also made turning 22 a little anticlimactic, since I've been telling everyone I am 23 since I got here. Then again, on the other hand, perhaps it eased my transition into the age where birthdays simply mean you are becoming an older and older adult. Either way, though, this particular birthday turned out to be quite a fun day spending time with sweet friends.

I spent most of the day yesterday in Apgujeong-dong (dong can be translated as neighborhood)-- a district of Seoul that is the "Beverly Hills" of South Korea. In fact, the main road, lined with designer shops and trendy cafes, is even referred to as Rodeo Drive. According to one online source I came across, it is the 10th most expensive shopping street in the world. Apgujeong in general is a very stylish and upscale area. Most Korean celebrities and a large number of successful business owners live, eat and shop there, and, according to my Korean friends, it is a place that people here either love or hate.

As a non-native and a visitor, I, of course, loved it. In the morning, I met a friend at the cinema in Apgujeong-- hands down the nicest theater I have ever been to-- to see (read "sob my way through") My Sister's Keeper. It was the first movie I have gone to see since being in Korea and I really enjoyed it. I learned while in Jordan last summer that when feeling homesick, going to see a Hollywood movie helps me to feel a little more at home, and, since I figured I'd be missing my family and friends on my birthday especially, I decided it would be a good way to treat myself. And in keeping with this theme, after the movie, my friend and I met up with some other girls for a birthday lunch at Outback. I know I probably should have chosen a more chic or trendy place given where we were, but it was the first American food that I had had since being here and I was extremely happy with my choice. (Funny side note: Outback is one of my favorite restaurants so before I left for Korea, I went for a special "last meal" there with my family, making a big to-do about how I wouldn't get to eat there for a whole year. My sister even stole a couple coasters and slipped them into my bag as a souvenir. Then, I get here and what do I find out? Not only do they have Outbacks throughout Korea, but there is even an Outback within walking distance from my apartment! Ah well...)

After we were all done eating, my friends surprised me with a very pretty and very yummy organic blueberry birthday cake! The icing was especially good-- light and whipped and not too sweet. I'm expressing my happiness Korean style below... :)


After lunch, we spent some time walking the streets, checking out a few of the boutiques and admiring (or, very occasionally, cringing at) the trendy outfits of passers by. I was hoping for a celebrity sighting but no such luck. And even though most places were more expensive than I was willing to spend, I definitely enjoyed the window shopping.

While walking, we stopped into a cosmetics store, and I ended up getting my makeup done. I hadn't planned on it, but I was looking to buy foundation and the girl, trying to make a sale, offered to do it for me. It was the first time I had ever had my make-up professionally done, and even though it wasn't for a special occasion, it did look really good and ended up being a lot of fun. I kind of felt like a little girl having a dress up party :) The sales girl was very sweet and cute and helpful, and, unfortunately, her sales tactics totally worked on me-- I ended up spending nearly $200 there (a forgivable birthday splurge?).

Later on, we went to noraebang, a very popular Korean pastime that I have been avoiding since arriving here. Noraebang translates literally to "singing room," and it is essentially karaoke in private rooms. I'm not quite sure why I felt so anxious about it-- I guess singing in front of people in any type of karaoke situation is just not my cup of tea. And it certainly didn't help that the noraebang that we chose had walls lined with pictures of all the celebrities-- mostly singers-- who frequented the place, adding to the intimidation factor. But once I gave in, I actually ended up having a blast! At noraebang, people don't expect much out of you and everyone is comfortable singing, no matter their ability level. I've always felt that with karaoke you either have to be funny or a good singer for people not to hate you, but with Korean people in noraebang it is not like that-- you just sing and enjoy one another. My favorite part of the experience was attempting to belt out a duet of "When You Believe" by Mariah Carey and Whitney Huston-- trying to achieve that kind of power and range led to some pretty hilarious, and sometimes painful, screeching. (Another side note: for those of you who plan to come visit me, I am dragging you to do this; it is a necessary part of the Korean experience.)

After nearly 2 hours of noraebang, we needed something to help give us our voices back, so we stopped in at a sweet little coffee shop for tea and lattes. When we finally parted ways, I was extremely tired but very happy. I could have easily called it a night then, but at the last minute decided to meet a couple friends for drinks who had been too busy to join earlier in the day. It ended up being a good choice, and was the perfect low key and relaxing end to a fun day of indulgence in goofy, girly silliness...

And, to top it off after all of that, today (Sunday) some of my church friends surprised me with yet another delicious cake and a free lunch. It was really sweet and super thoughtful of them... made me feel special :)

So, even though my first Korean birthday may not have been celebrated with anything that marks it as especially "Korean," it was the perfect blend of normalcy (movies and Outback) and novelty (Apgujeong shops and noraebang) to leave me feeling completely content at the end of the day. Now, I am left with a ton of leftover cake in the fridge and a lot of sweet Korean birthday memories... really couldn't have hoped for better!

Just for fun...

After over a month of receiving multiple emails and text messages from Koreans with jumbles of symbols that I was never entirely sure how to interpret, I finally asked someone to give me the the inside scoop on Korean smilies. So, just for fun and because I am bored on a Thursday night, here is a list of emoticons, a la South Korea.. and I have to say, I think in general they are much cuter and more expressive than the western style. ^-^


smiling
^-^

laughing out loud
^o^

surprised
o.O

annoyed
-.-

shy
*^^*

winking
-_~

amazed
*.*

angry
>.<

sad (tears pouring down)
TT_TT

nervous (beads of sweat)
^.^;;

confusion
?_? or @_@


andddd a few personal favorites:


scratching head
^.^a

peace/victory
v(^_^)v


double thumbs up
d(^_^)b

Follow up on last week's not-so-fun post...

Thanks to those of you who checked in with me and sent me encouraging messages after my last post. It really meant a lot. This past week has been a little better-- teaching was just as draining and I spent most of the weekend sleeping off the week, but I didn't feel quite as upset about it as I did last week.

I have started up a journal in which I write down the little positive things that happen at school and the moments while teaching that make me feel energized rather than drained, and I've tried to focus on those things in order to keep my energy level and enthusiasm high. I think that this exercise has helped me a bit and plan to continue.

I also recently read an old blog post from Sharon Hodde Miller, one of my bible study leaders from back home, in which she talks about the importance of taking a "sabbath of the mind," and I have realized that I haven't really been doing a good job of that. In her post she writes that it is not enough to have down time in which you physically rest, but that you have to allow your mind to rest as well. This is something that I have always been terrible at, and since starting this new job it has been no different. On weekdays, if I am not at work, I am thinking about work, researching activity ideas, or working on lesson plans. On weekends, even while hanging out with friends, I am still working in spirit because I am talking about issues at work or wracking my brain about how to deal with some student or situation from the week before. And this is utterly exhausing.

I really didn't anticipate this being such a struggle. Because it was all something that I had simply decided to do on a whim, I had no idea that I would care this much about being an English teacher. But it turns out that I do, and that means I am really going to have to protect my down time... because I have experienced burnout before, and I really don't want to spend my year here that way. I have so many other fun things that I want to do while I'm here-- like travel, study Korean, volunteer, write, get to know my family...-- and I honestly think that by setting aside time and giving myself fully to do those things, I will end up having a more effective year with my students. After having not prioritized those kinds of activities for the past couple weeks I can already feel the effects, so that is one adjustment that I am going to have to make very soon.

I did attend a Korean class nearby last week, but it turned out to be too advanced for me, so I am looking into different options. There is one other school I'm interested in-- it is further away from my house, but I actually like their approach better, so I hope to get the chance to check that out either this week or next weekend.

Also, the weather here is finally starting to cool off a bit, and I have really been enjoying going for runs in the park near my house. The park is quiet and pretty-- a nice respite from the industrial town that I live in-- with plenty of wide running trails and a small lake. It's fun to see all of the kids and families that go there in the evenings-- and even fun getting nearly run over by little girls on tricycles almost every time I'm there :) It makes me a little sad sometimes, though, because I've been missing getting to hang out with little ones since being here. That may sound a little weird (or kind of creepy??), but at home I worked in the nursery and pre-school at church, plus I did a ton of babysitting for young kids, and I just really miss it. As fun as middle schoolers can be, I wish I got to spend more time with younger kids too.

At church I've met a Korean family with some elementary aged kids who have kind of taken me in, and I've really enjoyed the couple of times that I have gotten to hang out with them all. It's nice to know a family here in Ansan, rather than only people my own age. I'm also really enjoying getting to know the other English teachers at my my school better. There are two other new English teachers this semester (both are non-native English speakers), so last week the rest of the teachers all took us out for a welcoming dinner, and it was really fun. I am learning a lot of fun things about Korean culture and about Korean versus American ways of thinking from them. For instance, in the course of conversations, I have learned that what we call the "after-life" Koreans refer to as the "after-death" and what we call "social dance" they call "private dance"-- just a couple examples of little ways in which different cultures can approach the same subject or idea from opposite perspectives. That's one of the things that I love most about being here-- learning and gaining just a little more insight into Korean culture and into myself just about every day.

For now, I'm off to do a little lesson planning and maybe go for a walk in the park. More posts to come soon-- I am getting a camera for my birthday (a couple weeks away) and I have some fun ideas for posts that I am saving for when I can add pictures, so that you will be able to get the full effect... :)