First week of school... atleast I survived.

If I’m being honest, this last week has not been the easiest. There have been a lot of ups and downs for me, and more than a few moments where I have wanted to break down into tears, wondering just what I have gotten myself into.

I began teaching two weeks ago (August 17th) and spent that first week leading two different week-long English conversation “camps.” These camps were actually glorified summer school classes in which I had free reign to find materials and create activities for the kids— provided that the students remained within the bounds of the classroom for an entire three hour block. Each group—morning and afternoon—was made up of about twenty 1st grade (equivalent to 7th grade in the U.S.) students, and we ended up having a blast together. I built a camp around the idea of introducing the students to 7 different English speaking countries, and allowing them to generate vocabulary words in order to talk about and play games related to those places. Things went great with the morning class right from the start; the kids were enthusiastic, responsive, and fun—it was a teacher’s dream. The afternoon class hit a few road bumps the first day—I tried to get the kids out of their seats to play some ice breakers and to do charades, but this made many of them extremely uncomfortable and apprehensive, which subsequently made me feel more like their torturer rather than their teacher. However, the next day I made some adjustments that put them more at ease, so that by the middle of that second day the afternoon kids were just as active and engaged as my morning students. By the end of this English camp experience, I had that “wow, I can actually do this,” feeling and was looking forward to starting up the official school year.

My excitement, however, was quickly replaced by feelings of confusion and frustration as the first day of class began to unfold. I arrived early to set up my class room and to get mentally prepared. I waited in nervous anticipation as the bell rang signaling the end of homeroom and kids began rushing into the halls, presumably headed for their first period classes. I opened the classroom door and gave my most inviting smile, but only received a few hello teacher’s as the students raced by. When the second bell rung I was left facing an empty classroom and wondering if I had somehow misunderstood the schedule—not an unlikely possibility, considering the entire thing was, of course, in Korean. Worried that all of the rest of my classes and plans for the day would be thrown off, I began reviewing all of the paperwork that the school had given me. Finding nothing new there, however, I finally resigned myself to the fact that I would not be able to figure this out, and I settled down at my desk, hoping against hope that my next class would actually show up.

About 30 minutes later, one of my co-workers came rushing into my classroom, looking a little flustered. “You should go downstairs to introduce yourself to the school,” she proclaimed. I gave her a blank look. “Right now?” “Yes,” she nodded, obviously wondering why I seemed so confused. “The principal already introduced you on the video and the other new teachers spoke… I thought someone let you know.” Nope. No one had let me know. And little did I know that I would be hearing that phrase a lot throughout the rest of the week.

This particular incident set the tone for what would turn out to be a very confusing and haphazard first day. I had planned to spend the first day with each class establishing a list of class rules. I figured this would allow me to gauge their level of English (the only thing I had been told was that it was “very low”), as well as help build an active and collaborative classroom environment. As I began to introduce this idea to my first class however, my Korean “co-teacher” for that class—whose job is essentially to help me with classroom management—took me aside and told me that the students had already established class rules last semester with their old English teacher. I was confused, because I was teaching a class of first year middle school students who I assumed were new to the school, until it occurred to me that fall must actually be the second semester for students at my school. This question was not, after all, something that I had thought to ask. I had simply assumed that the end of summer vacation marked the beginning of a new school year in the same way that it does at home in the States, and I imagine that I was never informed of by the principal or other teachers at my school that this is not the case because this format is the norm for them. So while I completely understand how such a misunderstanding could happen, and fully take responsibility for the fact that I did not research thoroughly enough into the South Korean public education system, the fact remains that I was nonetheless quite set back on my heels. I had to scrap my entire plan for the day and, instead, had the class review the rules that they had already made, lectured them a little about my expectations for the class—which I am fairly certain that most of them did not understand—and then played the “2 truths and a lie” activity that I had originally only planned to use to fill any extra time left over at the end of class. I fumbled through the rest of day in this way and managed to survive, but it certainly was not what I would consider getting off on the right foot.

Given that I have no training and very little experience relevant to teaching ESL to middle school students, virtually all that I have to rely on is my ability to build rapport with the students and to create a comfortable and safe learning environment for them-- so it was a particularly terrible feeling to be crippled in those areas from the very beginning. And as the week progressed, the enormity of my task started to sink in. I teach 22 classes (sometimes more) per week. Each of these classes consists of a different group of 40 students with whom I spend just one 45 minute period. This means that I have nearly 900 kids that I see in a week. Most of these kids are very afraid to make mistakes, and they either fear or resent English because such a heavy emphasis is placed on their English test scores here in Korea. And it is my job to lead them all in practicing English conversation using exercises from a text book.

As you can imagine, this situation presents a number of challenges: (1) 40 students is a huge number for a conversation class in which the kids are fighting me tooth and nail not to speak in English-- a large group activity is too big to keep everyone active, but if they are broken into small groups or pairs they immediately resort back to using Korean; (2) 45 minutes is no time at all with such a large group-- the kids barely get warmed up and then they have to leave; (3) the activities that I can try are restricted by text books that either (a) leave little room for much else or (b), by the admission of more than one of my co-teachers, are extremely boring; (4) building rapport with nearly 900 students when seeing them only once a week (and, of course, given factors 1-3) is going to be extremely difficult, if not impossible; (5) because factor 4 is such a struggle, and because students have already set patterns of behavior during their last semester together, classroom management is proving to be extremely difficult... and everyone knows how much I hate conflict as well setting myself as the "authority figure"-- it truly drains every bit of energy that I have; (6) I have 6 different co-teachers and, while I truly appreciate and genuinely like each of them (not a small thing by any means!), they do each have their own set of expectations and standards for the class that I have to take into consideration-- I am in charge of the content of the class while they are there to help with any misunderstandings as well as with classroom management, so having a supportive and engaged co-teacher is extremely helpful, but having a co-teacher for whom the kids have no respect is equally detrimental; (7) as I mentioned, the social pressure that is placed on these kids with respect to education, and particularly English education, is impossibly high-- Korea is a nation obsessed-- and this has a visible impact on my kids-- especially the 3rd grade (equivalent of 9th grade in the U.S.) students, who will soon be moving into the world of the Korean high-school, in which they will be expected to go to school from 8am-10pm, attend hagwon (private academy) until midnight, go home, complete their homework, get a few precious hours of sleep and get up to do it all again the next day; and finally, (8) schedules and information at my school is rarely conveyed ahead of time-- for instance I did not recieve my schedule until the day before classes began, and yesterday (Friday) I recieved an updated schedule which included two new classes for Monday. Details are almost never given, even in response to a specific question. I think this is a completely normal thing for Korean teachers and they are all used to working this way, but it has been a difficult adjustment for me as a new teacher not to really be able to plan details in advance-- it has left me feeling very out of control, which, as you can tell from all of the factors that I have just listed, I truly am.

And because of all of this, for the first few days of this past week, I went to work dreading each class. My time in the classroom was just so far from what I had envisioned as successful, and I could feel my energy depleting with every class period that went by. This feeling was discouraging to me and made me wonder how I could possibly survive an entire year this way, but more than that it made me really sad. My own disdain for class time felt immensely unfair to my students, who deserve to have a teacher who looks forward to the time that she is with them.

After a couple tearful conversations with some people very close to me, however, I have been able to shift my mindset a little. I certainly needed the opportunity to honestly voice my frustrations to a sympathetic ear, but now I am hoping that I will be able to move forward. The fact of the matter is that I have identified a lot of issues-- many of which I do not have the power to immediately resolve-- and the most I can do is to take that knowledge and work within the framework that I have been given to make the most of a situation that is less than ideal. I think I share this sentiment with almost every teacher out there-- I want what is best for the kids, so even while the system is making it difficult both for them to get the best and for me to give my best, my focus is to be on doing whatever I can for them, however small, for those precious 45 minutes every week. I can-- and already have-- found small ways, and little moments to break through with just a few students, and for now, that is going to have to be enough.

Feels Like Home to Me (or, at least, it's starting to)

Start of week five in Korea and I’m finally gaining a sense of normalcy in my life here. I no longer get lost every time I try to go to the bank or the grocery store, I have found a church that I like and plan to continue attending, and I am going on my second week in the classroom. It’s starting to feel like I actually live here or something … ;)

A few of you requested after my last post that I share a little about the church I started attending a couple weeks ago. The name of the church is Ansan Dongsan Church, and the aesthetic environment has a feel that is very similar to the Summit (for those of you who may not know, the Summit Church is my home church in Durham). I think Dongsan Church may be Presbyterian, but I am not entirely sure on that. I attend the English service, which is held on the building’s 10th floor(!), so I have no idea how many members or attendees they have in the main services on a typical Sunday, but there seem to be plenty of people around.

The English service itself has a decently full crowd. The pastor who leads is a personable Korean guy who studied in California. I think that he and I do have some pretty significant theological differences, but based on interactions we have had he strikes me as a genuine person who desires to interpret the Word of God faithfully, and that is what really counts with me. After each service, attendees are invited to stay and join in small group discussion about the sermon. I think this format is a really great idea, not only to help individuals process and digest the message, but also to help build a feeling of community and fellowship among worshipers—essential in any ministry, but of particularly great concern for one serving such a transient population as English speakers in Korea. The past couple of weeks I have attended the “newcomer” group, which is geared at getting to know one another in a non-threatening and unimposing way, but today I made the transition into a more permanent cell group. Others in the group were a little quiet and reserved in discussion, but I am hoping that as we all get to know one another better, people will open up a bit more.

Before coming to Korea, I was honestly not thrilled that I would have to attend an English service at a local church, simply because I was worried that it would be nothing more than that—sitting and listening to a sermon, with no opportunities to plug in and become more deeply involved with the church; I feared that, due to the language barrier between myself and the church at large, I would be viewed more as a spectator than as a full participant in the local community. But, from what I can tell so far, that will not be my experience at Dongsan church, so I am definitely feeling a little more optimistic.

In case any of you who asked were wondering a little more generally about Christianity in Korea, it is the second largest religion in the country, following just behind Buddhism. According to the limited research I’ve done, Christians make up about a third of Korea’s population, with about one third identifying themselves as Catholic and the other two-thirds as Protestant. Catholicism was introduced in the 1700s, but growth was slow until the arrival of Protestant missionaries in the late 1800s.

For those of you who are sociologically inclined, Andrew Kim, in A History of Christianity in Korea: from its troubled beginning to its contemporary success offers the following explanation for why Christianity was able to experience such a flourishing in more recent years:

“…traditional Korean folk culture provided several important "contact points" with Christianity, allowing for the ready translation and adaptation of Christian beliefs and principles in Korean form. It can be also noted that certain peculiar circumstances of Korean history--i.e., Korea's vulnerability to Chinese and Japanese control, colonialism, the Korean War, etc.--allowed Christianity to strike deep roots in the spiritual sphere of the South Korean society…. And finally, the profound social structural developments that marked the modernization process in Korea following WWII provided a cultural opening for the ‘selling’ and ‘reception’ of a Christian worldview that harmonized with the industrial transformation of the society. “

I realize that this short passage touches on a lot of factors without expanding much on any of them, but I think it is all very interesting and I definitely plan on probing further into both the history and social impact of Christianity here in Korea. In many ways, protestant Christian culture that I have encountered in Korea so far seems very similar to the missional, evangelical Christian culture that can be found in some regions of the United States. However, I am very interested to delve deeper and, in particular, to learn more about Shamanism and its impact on both the theology and growth of Korean churches.

I may not post much more about this topic on this blog (and I can hear some of you breathing a sigh of relief!) but for the two of you out there who are interested in checking out more ;) , I will probably touch on it on my other blog (tofightforlove.blogspot.com). This other blog is something I started up a few months ago—mainly just for myself to practice and improve my writing. It is a good forum for me to work through and structure my thoughts on what it means to live in response to the transformative power of God’s love. I haven’t written much since starting it, due to the chaos of graduating as well as to my all-around general flakiness, but have decided to pick it up again since being in Korea.

Which leads me to yet another great thing about my being in Korea—I’ve actually been able to get quite a bit of creative writing done here, which is really nice because it’s something I really love but that I had kind of let fall by the wayside while I was still in school. It is a great outlet for me, a way to process my experiences, and just to have fun and be creative… definitely good for my soul :)

And now on a completely unrelated note, I’m including with this post a couple photos taken at a soccer game at the World Cup stadium, just for those of you who need visual proof that I am actually in Korea and have not simply fallen off the face of the earth. I had a really good time at the game, met some great people and learned a fun Korean cheer. I’ve also included a picture of myself at Lotte World, a kind of Disney style theme park in Seoul. I rode my first roller coaster ever there, so I will always remember it :) And if you are wondering where all the other photos are, I still have not purchased a camera—these were taken by cell phone... hence the terrible quality.

I will post again soon and let you all know how the teaching is going! Love and miss you—keep sending updates my way, I love to hear from you!

Anyunghaseyo!

Hello from South Korea! I have been here for just over two weeks and it has been a great experience so far. Thank you so much to those of you who have been checking in with me—it really means a lot! Because I don’t start teaching until Monday, August 17th, I have had plenty of time over the past couple of weeks to relax and to get acclimated to life in Korea. I still don’t think it has hit me that I actually live here, though … it feels more like a vacation.

I’ve met so many new people and experienced so many new things since I’ve been here, but because I can’t cover everything in one post, I’ve listed 6 highlights—or kind of general themes—that will hopefully give you a picture of what my life in Korea has been like.

1. Family, family and more family

My mother’s father is the oldest of seven children, so I have more aunts, uncles and cousins in Korea than I could have ever imagined. They are all so incredibly generous to me, and even though I can’t speak to most of them because my Korean is so terrible, they have all really gone out of their way to make me feel welcomed and completely at home. And they have definitely succeeded—having such a great family so close by has really helped me feel much more at home in Korea than I would have otherwise.

It is also really great to be around people who speak so intimately of my mother—the way that only someone who has watched a person grown up can do. I didn’t realize until I got here that I had been missing out on that. I’d been around plenty of people who talked about how my dad had been when he was younger, but never my mom. And it is obvious from the way that they all talk just how much they adore her—which is lucky for me, because they seem to view me as an extension of her. Everyone I meet from the family says that I have her forehead, her voice and her smiling face, and it is assumed that because my mom is very smart and can sing well that I must also be brilliant with a great singing voice. Unfortunately neither of those things are true, but I’m trying not to spoil the illusion for them just yet… :-P

2. The West Sea

My town, Ansan, is located just south of the west side of Seoul. It’s a great location for me, because I have very convenient access to Seoul via subway (there is a station virtually on my doorstep), and I am also very close to the west coast of Korea. I love the big city vibrancy of Seoul, but I also really enjoy the quiet beauty and slower pace of the West Sea.

The West Sea is one of those rare and special places where you can watch the sun both rise and set over the ocean. There are both sand and pebble beaches, and even now in the busy season, it is not overly crowded. The beaches are populated mainly by families and couples having picnics, cooking Korean barbeque and playing in the water. Many of the women wear big floppy hats and huge sunglasses to protect themselves from the sun, which I think is completely adorable. Men—and occasionally women—with fishing poles can be spotted on just about every beach, but on the pebble beaches you can also find men and women with little picks and shovels gathering small crabs, clams and other shellfish for dinner. As for me, I enjoy just walking along the water, going swimming in the sea, and eating my fill of sashimi (like sushi without the rice).

I have yet to figure out how I can make a day trip of it without spending a ton of money on a driver—the bus system still intimidates me a little bit—but it is definitely close enough to visit for just a day, and I think that getting away periodically will be an important way for me to be able to rejuvenate myself over the next year.

3. Korean pop music

Those of my friends who love good music—and by that I mean music by talented artists who take their craft seriously—are constantly giving me a hard time about my own poor musical taste. What can I say? I love bubble gum pop songs that hearken back to the boy band era of the nineties… and lucky for me, so do many Koreans! Below I’ve posted for your listening pleasure a sampling of youtube links to songs from some of the most popular groups that you might hear on the radio, on TV, or playing in nearly every store in Seoul and Ansan.

These two groups, 2PM and Big Bang, are the top two boy bands in Korea-- I think one of them was the winner of Korean Idol, but I can't remember which...
2PM: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUgReo37ECw&feature=fvst
Big Bang: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzCbEdtNbJ0

This group, Girls Generation, is like Korea's version of the Pussycat Dolls:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1Hihsm405E

And here's my personal favorite... a song called "I Don't Care" by girl group 2NE1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve-Z3RBR_84

4. Soju

Soju is Korea’s favorite alcoholic drink, made of fermented rice or sweet potatoes, and many Koreans claim that it is good for your health. Any time I am invited out to lunch or dinner my host orders soju. Anytime I have spent the day in nature, enjoying the outdoors with a native Korean, we have paused to enjoy a little glass of soju. Because I am new to the drink, I am usually given a very weak mul cocktail, which is about 2/3 water and 1/3 alcohol. When it's watered down like this, it is sweet, but taken much stronger it is a little reminiscent of rubbing alcohol. And I’m a complete wimp when it comes to the taste of alcohol—I like fruity, girly drinks—so it’s pretty amazing that I have been able to keep the soju down each time. As a matter of fact, I’m even beginning to enjoy it, especially when eating Korean barbeque, seafood or other spicy foods. I’m really going to have to learn to discern when it is okay to turn down a drink without being rude, though, because if I continue to accept soju every time it is offered, I’m not sure how long my poor liver will be able to hold up!

5. Go-Stop

Go-Stop was described to me both as Korean poker and a popular Korean family game. The game is played using hwa-tu , tiny little cards with colorful pictures of plants, animals, and outdoor scenes. I had a set of hwa-tu when I was younger but never knew what to do with them. My sister and I would make up rules that were nothing like the actual game and definitely nowhere near as fun. The basic premise of Go-Stop is to match cards, collect as many sets of two as you can and end up with a combination of cards that adds up to three or more points. The pictures on each set of four cards do not match exactly, but instead have some design in common that links them, some of which are difficult to recognize for someone like me who is new to the game. Normally you bet when playing, but when I learned I played with two 14 year old girls, and we just played for fun. It’s a good thing too, because I would have lost a ton of money. I’ve never been much of a card game kind of girl unless you count Uno and Go Fish, but I really had a lot of fun learning to play this game. I am planning on getting my own hwa-tu, and you can bet that if you come to visit me I will be teaching you how to play.

6. Kimchi

You knew I had to mention it. Kimchi is a Korean staple, served with every meal. It was also a staple in my house growing up—we even ate it on pizza—so before coming here I considered myself a relative kimchi expert. It turns out, however, that I am in fact utterly ignorant when it comes to the wide and diverse world of kimchi. Since being here I have learned that there are far more types of kimchi than I would have ever thought possible; it seems like I am being introduced to a new type at just about every meal. I have one Korean cookbook that lists over 200 kinds. I suppose it’s a good thing that there are so many varieties, though, since kimchi was ranked by Health magazine as one of the healthiest foods in the world. I have been told that it even helps prevent cancer, so I guess you can really never get enough!

~*~*~

All in all, I am having a really great time so far. There have been challenges—mostly due to my terrible lack of knowledge when it comes to the Korean language—but no more than you might expect when coming to work in a new country for the first time. I will continue to update my blog, and hopefully I will be able to include some photos with my posts in the future. I don’t have a camera yet because I never replaced the one that was stolen in Jordan last summer, but I plan to buy one with my first paycheck so you will have something a little more interesting to look at than just words on a page! I love and miss you all—be sure to keep in touch and keep me updated on your lives as well…




P.S. Yesterday was my mom’s birthday in the U.S. (13 hour time difference)—so just wanted to say happy birthday again, Mom! I love you and miss you so much, and I hope you had an absolutely fantastic day!! XOXOX

Change in Departure Date

Hi friends! :) Just wanted to post an update on the status of my Korea plans. Things have gotten a little crazy with paperwork and official stuff, and I am no longer planning on leaving next week. Instead I will be leaving sometime in or around July 27th. Even though this process has been more than a little frustrating, I am grateful and excited for the extra time that I am going to get to spend with family and friends that I might not have otherwise been able to see before heading off. Thanks for your support so far and here's hoping that the next couple weeks of preparation go off without a hitch...